"I’m sitting here, confiding in you with all of this different crap, and I did it with Will York too for that article in The Guardian. I’ve done a lot of fucking interviews with a lot of people, and I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to explain things to people and have this thing come back: “Wild, Arabic surf disco conglomeration like a band of merry pranksters bringing their Mr. Bungle-tinged spinoff sounds to the blah blah blah.” It’s always the same fucking crap. That’s 98% of the fucking journalists out there. Now I have the instinct and I know who I’m talking to. I look at your website, I see what you’re doing, and what you’re about. Fuck, man – it’s easy to talk to you. I’m hoping that journalism will start taking your cue.

"What music fan wouldn’t want to go to a website like yours, where they can read actual stuff about the musicians they’re interested in, and not just a bunch of hype bullshit? It seems to me like that’s got to be the future of music journalism." - Trey Spruance

Yes, Trey Spruance of Mr. Bungle and Secret Chiefs 3 said that to me. And I’m not publishing the quote just to be pompous – well, maybe I am. But hey, you’d be proud too if Superman praised you for your strength or Ron Jeremy considered you well endowed. Trey’s played on some of my most favorite albums of all-time, including Mr. Bungle’s California and Faith No More’s King For a Day. I know that at this moment, all my close friends are shaking their heads while reading this, secretly planning an intervention to rescue me from my hopeless Mr. Bungle fanboy-dom. But come on, admit it: Who wouldn’t like a wild, Arabic surf disco conglomeration like a band of merry pranksters bringing its Mr. Bungle-tinged spinoff sounds to the blah blah blah? Exactly. Our exclusive interview with Trey Spruance - who others have said is very hard to pin down for an interview - was pieced together from a two hour conversation that covered everything from Van Halen and Def Leppard to the raging wrath of Eureka’s Tommy Leydecker. Enjoy.

And if you have a few extra hours, be sure to give our official Ozzfest 2003 Preview a thorough read. It’s a bit long, but I have no doubt that you’ll find the comprehensive preview to be stunningly accurate. You may even want to consider printing the article out and bringing it to the event so that you can judge our second-to-none psychic abilities for yourself. If you disagree with our assessment, please come to my house, look me in the eye and tell me that paying $100 to see Ozzfest is the right thing to do.

We’re making progress over here, people – please try to keep up.

My mom is better than your mom and your dad too,
Erik Fong

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